Today is Drew's birthday. Poor Drew gets lost in the shuffle so often. AJ is the oldest, so we have the highest expectations of him. Megan is the baby and the princess, so she is constantly doted on. And poor Drew is stuck in the middle. I love that little boy. He has such a sweet spirit. He has a tender heart and can be so compassionate.

I made him a train cake today for his birthday. He's been asking for a train cake for weeks now. Then this morning, he changed his mind and wanted a "super cool jet" cake. He got a train. He loves the train cake, and the smile on his face when he saw it made it worth all the time I spent on it. But my heart hurts a little that I didn't give him a super cool jet cake.

He wanted a helicopter for his birthday. I didn't realize this until it was too late. AJ got a helicopter for Christmas, and Drew loves it and wanted his own. But he's not getting one. And I feel like a terrible mother because the one thing he really wants, he isn't getting. Now, I have no doubt he will love the gifts that he is receiving. And he'll probably forget all about the helicopter once the wrapping paper starts to fly, but my heart hurts a little that I didn't get him a helicopter.

I love this little boy so much. Some days, after the kids are in bed and I'm thinking about the day, I realize that I didn't take the time to show Drew my love. Of course I told him that I loved him. And I gave him hugs and kisses, but I didn't really show him. And it hurts my heart a lot that I don't show this precious little man that I love him enough.

Being a mom really is tough. I have such high expectations of myself, and I rarely live up to them. These kids are truly a joy to me. I love them more than I ever thought possible. I only want what is best for them. I hope they know that.